Here’s my English draft of the second chapter of the Cross Heart trilogy, Someday. The third one, Breakdown’s already been translated so no need for my greatness there. Not as good as the first draft, but I’m not perfect.
Both chapters and even the first one can be found at AnaKris‘s Gallery page.
Even today I continue watching you, as I always used to do. It must be the norm.
For as much time will pass/time passes, Ill never, ever stop watching you.
Although things arent like before/the same as before.
Everythings different now.
Now, when I look at youyou look/stare right back/return my stare.
And if I smile
You smile too/as well.
That smile, that Ive been seeking/searching for so long.
I wonder when it is I began frequently looking at her/looking at her so often?
I wonder if she somehowalways knew I was watching.
How long has it been?
Nowno one is watching us.
Haruare you at it again?
Stop looking at her, woman/girl.
Nobodys/No ones going to take her away from you.
But, what are you saying Yoko? How should I put it/tell you?
Im not watching anyoneee.
Its just that.
She sooo moe/cute, I cant stop watching her!
What could she be thinking about now?
(Its been two years since what happened/then, when Kotomi finally decided to open her heart.)
Its been two years
Since she and I have become
More than friends.
Whats wrong now?
What rotten/dumb luck! Even though were the same age and in the same institute/school, we always get separate classes
LIFE IS SOOOOOO UNFAIR!
What the..? Out of my class right now/this instant!
Haru-chan, you should control that euphoria of yours.
And take off those headphones, girl!
Tchshe doesnt have to be like that/get so upset.
What are you doing out here?
Dont tell me they kicked you out of class again.
I could hear lots of screaming from my classroom/mine
Kotomi-. (Desire to make love engaged.)
Ah, not here. Someone could see us and I need to get back to class.
I just came out to make some photocopies/copies.
Oh, thats right. Im sorry.
Its justwhen I see you, I forget everything around me. I only think about you, all the time. Youre all I care about.
So its my fault you got kicked out! For thinking about me! Ill be responsible for Haru-chans failure at school. I couldnt live with that in my conscience/guilt.
No no no! That teacher just drives me crazyyy!
Just kidding. (Activate inner kyaaa)
(Kotomi has changed a lot all this timeor so I think.)
For the better, of course.
See you later at my house, as usual.
I would never forget.
(While at school, we hardly/barely see each other. Only during breaks, when Kotomi isnt busy, since now shes her class representative.)
(But every afternoon we stay at her house with no one to bother us. Her parents are always/spend their time/life traveling and are never home.)
(Sometimeswhen I stop to think about thingsthese thoughts in my head make me sad.)
(Kotomis alwaysalways been alone.)
(Not even when that happened, did she have anyones support.)
I also think
About all the stuff/everything I want to do with her.
Haru, are you alright? Youre red
Oh, Im fine.
Its okay if I kiss you now, right? Nobody can see us.
I just want be with you, hugging/holding you and be held/hugged by you/you hugging me.
(Sometimeswhen were alone, I want to embrace her. Kiss her all over her body. The way couples doto show how they feel for one another.)
(Kotomi and I always kissbut nothing else.)
(She keeps staring at me)
(Then she holds me and smilesI think its her way of telling me)
OH! Do you want me to go make tea?
Eh? But were at my house so I should go.
No, I insist! Ill bring over some cake too.
So tell me, where did you parents fly off to this time?
Hmm, I think Germany, from the looks of it.
Idont know much about businesses, but they said they had to stay there for a while, to take care of some issues I know nothing about.
At least, they call you by phone, right?
Yes, wellonce in a while.
I understand theyre really busy and they cant be devoted to me all the time. I want them to see how much Ive grown andthat I can take care of myself. Thats whyI want to keep pushing myself every day, working hard, so they dont/wont have to worry about me.
(According to what she told me back thenher parents began ignoring her even more. For some reason, their relationship began deteriorating as the years went by, till a bottomless abyss stood between them.)
(Andeven so, she)
Perhaps, somedaydad will feel proud of meand mom will hug me again like she used tomaybe.
(keeps on/continues waiting for them)
Youre still a little girl.
As much as you keep say youre all grown up, and that you can take care of yourselfdeep down, youre still a girl, who misses her parents.
It must be really unpleasantliving in such a large house, with no one else. Im sure at night you feelso lonely.
No, not anymore.
Its true thatat night, when Im all alone, in my room, and the nightmares come back. I look around and feel as if the darkness is engulfing me. I feel as though, at any moment, I could fall into the dark abyss of my memories, with no one around, nor anyone to embrace/hold.
But then I close my eyesand only one person comes to mind. Just like a torrent/wave of bright memories, and I immediately realize that because that person is also thinking about me and even though youre not by my side in the darkness, I know youll be there for me the next day.
To shine light in my life.
Will you be by my side tomorrow?
Tomorrow and always
And no matter how many times you fall, Ill always be there to hold your hand when you need me.
Although it would be pretty cool, if we were already grown up
Itd be okay, to live together.
Yeah! Dont you think itd be awesome!?
Not having a set schedule as to when we can see each otherno rules of any kind.
No barriers holding us back from kissing when we feel like it.
Can you imagine? If that dream were to come truesomeday?
So Haru-chan thinks about those kinds of things?
Andwe could sleep togethereven in the dark, I
OH! Sorry, I wasnt thinking. I said too many silly things, didnt I?
See you tomorrow.
Holding each other at night, melting with a kiss, touching you tenderly where no one else has touched youand feeling the warmth of your hands touching on skin.
(Those kinds of thoughtsgo through my mind sometimes, but)
(Its something I see as distant)
(Its as ifIm trapped inside a long tunnelwhose exist I can see)
(yet am incapable of reaching.)
(How long will this torment last?)
Come with me to the mall/shopping center this afternoon
Ive got stuff to buy
Eh? And what does that have to do with me?
And cant you say hi to me like normal people?
Its that I can buy clothes and I want to consult you, like always.
Eh? Really? And it has to be this afternoon? I have another engagement.
Oh I know about your engagements. We havent hung out together lately.
And I want to be with you too. I miss you.
But you have me here now/Im here now.
Dont be silly. You know perfectly well what I mean.
Cant you see youre growing more apart from me..?
It hurts, you know?
But Yoko-chan, you and I will always be friends.
Then come with me this afternoon!
(Insert manipulator or a similar substitute here)
Okay, okay. Just for a bit. I told you I have another engagement.
Ive got leftover money/change. Ill buy you something.
Theres no need.
(What isthis feeling?)
(Its something Ive never felt before.)
(A really strong pain in my chestand it make me want to cry.)
(I feel like running to Haru and screamhow I really feel about her. That were not just friends. Were not.)
(Maybe then I can stop feeling that pain engulfing me from the inside.)
(This feeling must be what they call)
Hey little girl. What are you doing here all alone?
Are you lost?
Huh? You okay?
DONT COME NEAR MEEEE!
Im here now. Sorry Im late.
But whats with all the screaming? Its like shes seen a ghost.
Get the hell out of here. (You can use morecolourful language if you wish.)
Tchwhat the hells wrong with this city? Theyre all nuts.
Could it be, these brats were
Kyoji-kuuun. What are you doing? I thought you were lost. Geez.
Kotomi, thats enough! The guy wasnt going to hurt you!
DONT LOOK AT ME!
(Why didnt I notice sooner?)
(Since the day)
(I wasnt fully aware of how much Kotomi had suffered)
(and for how long her memories were tormenting her. And, for some reason, I felt bad, like I had to apologize to her for something, I knew nothing about.)
(I felt like, somehow, I had hurt her. The person I loved most.)
Haru, dinners ready!
Im not hungrythanks
I just want to sleep.
Alright/whatever you say.
And never wake up again.
(I did/Ive done something horrible, didnt/havent I?)
(I thinkall these years, Ive been lessening the importance of this matter.)
(And in the end, I feel like Ive hurt the only person on this world, who I never wanted to hurt.
How could I possibly not have noticed something as severe as that markon her skin?)
As much as she tries to put those memories behind her, they always return/keep coming back.
Always return/keep coming back.
Time and again.
DONT SMILETHAT WAY!
I want you to tell me what/how you really feel.
(Forgive mefor not noticing your suffering/Because I didnt notice your sufferingI was so happy with you.)
(that perhaps my feelings had blinded meand Im not seeing the truth/realitythat things werent going as well as I thought)
Forgive me for not grabbing/holding your hand this time/
Thats why I
(Want to be with you in the darkness.)
Kotomi, what are you doing here?
Ive been waiting for you. I dont want to be alone.
Recently my room scared me and I didnt know where to go, because even though Im surrounded by people, I feel lonely. The only one who can fill the emptiness in my heart
the softness of her hands that touch me, the warmth of her breath, the light of her smile, her eyes, her lips
I want all of her/Haru-chan.
Forgive me for being so weakThese weaknesses always end up hurting me.
Im so sorry.
Save me from the darkness once again.
Please, stay with me tonight.
If I dont face my past and my fears
Theyll never let me move on.
The scar on my wrist is a mark of my pastsomething I can no longer erase. At that momentI really did want to stop living. But
I didnt want you to know how weak I used to be then.
Now everything is different. I want to keep on moving. I want to become stronger, to protect you to, and stop beinga burden to you.
Dont say anymore.
Dont ever sayyoure a burden to me, because I never thought that. I love you just the way you are. You still havent noticed that?
Your happiness is my happiness.
But if you dont want to smile, then dont smile. Ill smile for you, till you feel like it.
Ah! I just said you dontt have to smile if you dont want to!
But I do want to smile!
KOTOMI!? W-What are you doing!?
Cant you hear it?
It doesnt hurt anymore. Its because youve been by my side all this time. As long as its youI know everything will be alright.
My sweet Haru.
(Lets face these fears together.)
(To keep going forward.)
(To a bright future, where pain doesnt exist.)
(When Im with you, My pains and insecurities disappear.)
(Haru-chanI havent noticed, but now I knowit doesnt matter that in the eyes of other people, were just two girl friendswhat matters is what we feel.)
These beautiful feelings we share, in a world where theres no one else.
(Where theres only you and me.)
I want to be with you in the darkness of your past, to brighten your memories. I love you.
Lets stay like this forever.
Lets create precious memories, so thatsomeday
we can look back with a smile, and it that wasnt all painful.
Uh, Im sorry.